Cannibal Holocaust & the Bestial Bukkakolypse

The last few weeks saw a rash of reportage centred around some particularly hungry customers, namely, those who possess a literal appetite for their fellow man. They certainly proved a colourful bunch: from Rudy “Face-Eater” Eugene; to “My Name is Luka” Magnotta, the todger-loving twink who supposedly made a meal of one of his conquests. For me, it all brought back memories of a case from my wretched neck of the woods: Peter “The Newham Cannibal” Bryan.

Of course, folk who fell asleep watching one Walking Dead episode too many waxed hyperbolically about the “zombie apocalypse”, jokingly (?) wondering if Hell had indeed exceeded its capacity.

All of this proved entertaining enough, before the weekend brought forth more phenomena for my amusement:

First, a friend* brought Fear Factor’s donkey dicksplash-drinking duel to my attention, in all its viscous glory, prompting me to wonder when gokkun flicks would become a UK Saturday evening fixture (they’d be several steps up from the glut of “talent” shows staining the screen, I’ll tell you that much!).

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Following that, friend and Inferno regular Schoma made mention of the latest beverage to take the Kiwi Nation by storm

…leading me to suspect that New Zealand’s human males might be firing empty pistols.

Going by this pair of, um, seminal stories, it seems that the guzzling of equine ejaculate might just be the new in-thing with Western women this summer. Who knows? Maybe it’ll become a last-minute Olympic event.

And, just when I thought it safe to step out into Sunday, Keith Preston of ATS goes and links this tale of a beast with two backs:

During his sophomore year in high school, Cody Beck finally got fed up with hearing homophobic cracks. If his classmates thought being gay was weird (Beck was openly bisexual), he had a confession that would blow their minds. He told them he is sexually attracted to dogs and horses.

Now Beck believes he and other members of this minority sexual orientation, who often call themselves “zoos,” can follow the same path as the gay rights movement. Most researchers believe 2 to 8 percent of the population harbors forbidden desires toward animals, and Beck hopes this minority group can begin appealing to the open-minded for acceptance.

As this group gains confidence, zoophiles figure to be more open and then more outspoken in their demands for personal liberty and against discrimination. Improbable as it may seem, zoophiles might yet prove the new frontier in the battle for sexual civil rights.

Thomas Francis, Broward Palm Beach New Times

To think: the irregular interaction my mum once caught the babysitter viewing on VHS is now making inroads into the mainstream.

Zoophilia, me old son—you’ve come a long way in a quarter of a century!

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Today, animal brothels in Denmark; tomorrow…the world?

In any case, reading reports of beast bukkake and man-munching within such a short stretch of time, one could be forgiven for thinking the so-called “natural order” in a state of inversion

*Cheers, Tinkerbelle!

~MRDA~         

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4 Responses to Cannibal Holocaust & the Bestial Bukkakolypse

  1. Schoma says:

    Huzzah! That’s two mentions I’ve rated on your excellent blog (even if my handle may now be forever associated with Tim Democracy-Über-Alles Minchin). I’m delighted that you found the article on Antipodean interspecies gamete consumption useful and informative.

    On the subject at hand, the issue of zoophilia has always been, to me, a case of live-and-let-live (actually, more a case of: ‘Whoa! I don’t need to know that, mate!’), though I’ve no intention of mating amongst the menagerie myself (as gorgeous as the kelpie-next-door’s ice-blue eyes are). I tend to agree with the Norwegian minister quoted in one of the hyperlinks above that it’s a moral issue unless the animal suffers cruel treatment (I’m left laughing at the mental image of a Labrador in a gimp mask), and I’m not in favour of legislating morality (disclaimer: I’m routinely biased against legislation anyway). On the other hand, the issue of animal consent gets raised often and loudly. While it’d pretty difficult to argue that a Rottweiler is ‘forced’ to mount and penetrate a human (female or male), there arises the question of whether he was trained to do so (or acted out of natural inclination) and whether he would do so if given an opportunity to seek sexual gratification elsewhere. Then again, we routinely cut their balls off so I guess shagging the missus is probably a step up for most dogs!

    Finally, as I’ve mentioned to you before, the article on the imbibition of fruity-flavoured equine ejaculate (“Can I get a shot of Sailor Jerry’s in that?”) notes that none of the customers returned for seconds. I wonder if this is due to cream-of-Clydesdale being particularly unpalatable, or so delectable that the ladies have cut out the middleman and headed straight to the source (“grass-fed, all organic!”). Personally, I think us human males should be worried: not only was Mr. Ed well-hung, he was also an incredibly smooth talker. We got no chance.

    • MRDA says:

      On the other hand, the issue of animal consent gets raised often and loudly. While it’d pretty difficult to argue that a Rottweiler is ‘forced’ to mount and penetrate a human (female or male), there arises the question of whether he was trained to do so (or acted out of natural inclination) and whether he would do so if given an opportunity to seek sexual gratification elsewhere. Then again, we routinely cut their balls off so I guess shagging the missus is probably a step up for most dogs!

      It baffles me how our species hardly quibbles about consent when it comes to slaughtering other animals for consumption, yet gets all worked up over a scenario which may yield pleasure for both parties.

      Guess I’ll (grudgingly) give vegans consistency points on that issue.

  2. Where are the god-damned centaurs?!

  3. I noticed a while back that some kind of zoophilia industry existed in Japan; not only that but the JAV stars in Zoophilia often wind up in ‘ordinary’ JAV porn. Once I thought about it I actually couldn’t decide why it isn’t like that everywhere. I mean, I just can’t see why chicks fucking dogs is any weirder than most of the stuff in porn. Actually, it’s probably a better idea than most of the men these tasteless cumdumpsters actually do date.

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