In a fit of pique, MRDA asks….

….why is everybody so bloody obsessed with sex?

I mean really?

Doing the nasty. Rooting. Getting one’s end away. Fucking. Fornication. Getting cock or cunt. The beast with two backs….

What is so fascinating about this function of Man (and Woman/Man)? It feels good? Fucking hell, eating KFC feels good, yet I don’t feel the urge to wax on and on about that, nor binge on nowt but a diet of Colonel Sanders secret recipe. I mean, some perspective people.

And before anyone accuses me of being some kinda bloody Puritan, they’re no less obsessed with The Act(s) as their “free-loving” libertine pals – if they weren’t they wouldn’t be so fervent about censoring it and keeping it in the hands of an unproven and invalid deity or Order. Thinking about of this, both poles are kinda confined in their definitions of sexuality – the Puritans see sexual acts as something that should only be performed under externally-sanctioned conditions (marriage, breeding), whilst the libertines see such activity as a mere bodily function to pass the time and be thrown around like alms or confetti – summat to do just because “everyone else is doing it”.

Slaves the lot of them, governed by the procreation-recreation dialectic as they are. Nihilists to the left of me and repressives to the right – a negation of humanity either way.

I mean what does this say about people when such contrasting ideas battle it out? That we have to be controlled by something or other, be it our loins or our lords? Such a noble fucking vision of Man, I’m sure! So much for discrimination, personal standards and values, or notions of – gasp – amor or affection! Crush all the hearts and flowers and throw them in the bin, right?

Sometimes I think that asexuals are the only fuckers in the world (ironic pun noted) who can truly claim to be sexually emancipated…..

~MRDA~

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33 Responses to In a fit of pique, MRDA asks….

  1. miyu_sakura says:

    ….why is everybody so bloody obsessed with sex?
    Exactly what I’m asking. I don’t really care about it at all. ;_;

    • rinku says:

      …says the person who wanted to read about very underaged sex between ‘the dark is rising’ characters.

      • miyu_sakura says:

        No, no, no, I wanted to read about them when they were grownups.
        And it wasn’t even the wank that I was interested in… just the romance. I think Bran and Jane make a fantastic couple. So I really wish there were more romantic pieces about them.
        ;_;

        • rinku says:

          i’d rather see will with whoever that evil witch’s real name is (she changes forms in each book, if it’s even the same girl).

  2. I can only speak for myself on this one, and with me it’s chemical. Certain medication will subdue my urges, but they’ve never completely gone away. And, like oxygen, it becomes more important when you don’t get enough. The fact that I limit myself to meaningful, emotionally connected (at least from my side – I can’t control what other people feel, and I’ll admit, I can’t always tell, either) sex makes it even more rare and precious. In my case, it’s a good thing it isn’t oxygen, because I’d have asphyxiated a long time ago.
    Because I have to live up to my own moral code when dealing with others, I try really hard NOT to obsess about it, and fill my life with other things – like LJ, books, music, two jobs and postcards. If I had to choose between having a partner who really didn’t care about me but was good in bed, or a partner who did care, who was open to physical contact but not necessarily my sexual ideal, I’d take the latter. The two are not to be confused, but I think my need for things like hugs and kisses probably outweighs any animal urges. (Not that I’m getting any serious offers of either scenario these days…)
    That said… I think Freud was ahead of his time at least when it comes to American culture. Our media and art are sex-saturated, we’re forced to think about it more than ever, even with the current administration trying to restrict it all to procreation. This will, if it succeeds at any level, only serve to create taboos that didn’t exist before, and, as you pointed out, leave us all the more obsessed as a whole.

    • MRDA says:

      “If I had to choose between having a partner who really didn’t care about me but was good in bed, or a partner who did care, who was open to physical contact but not necessarily my sexual ideal, I’d take the latter. The two are not to be confused, but I think my need for things like hugs and kisses probably outweighs any animal urges.”
      I see your point. I also think sex is merely one aspect of physical affection rather than the whole she-bang (pun not intended!). While I see it being important in a relationship, if all else is missing (i.e. the relating not involving genitalia), one might as well be bringing oneself off!
      “I think Freud was ahead of his time at least when it comes to American culture.”
      It could also be argued that Freud’s own fixations have a lot to answer for in the sexual saturation of society. The Oedipus and Electra Complexes were a step too far – whatever problems and hang-ups I may have, wanting to fuck my mother certainly isn’t one of them!
      The phrase “physician, heal thyself” applies to Freud on that matter….
      “Our media and art are sex-saturated, we’re forced to think about it more than ever, even with the current administration trying to restrict it all to procreation. This will, if it succeeds at any level, only serve to create taboos that didn’t exist before, and, as you pointed out, leave us all the more obsessed as a whole.”
      Pretty much! Forbidden fruit is viewed as being all the more edible, after all…

    • MRDA says:

      A speculation…
      What’re the odds the neo-cons will declare a War on Fornication, given enough time?

      • Re: A speculation…
        They’ve already tried, in some ways. The Shrub is also trying to re-align healthcare to conform to the Catholic church’s ideals (IE – sex for purposes of procreation only, therefore no birth control coverage.) There was an attempt to pass a law in Virginia making it prosecutable as infanticide if a woman doesn’t report a miscarriage in a certain number of hours of the fetal death. Thankfully, it was not voted in, but still – the fact that it was attempted is a bad, bad sign.

        • MRDA says:

          Re: A speculation…
          “There was an attempt to pass a law in Virginia making it prosecutable as infanticide if a woman doesn’t report a miscarriage in a certain number of hours of the fetal death.”
          To put it very nicely, that’s just fucked! It’s a good thing someone somewhere had the sense not to let that law come to pass…

          • Re: A speculation…
            It’s an ongoing battle – and some of this stuff is too important to leave to the state and local governments. (And you’re hearing this from a state employee!)

          • MRDA says:

            Re: A speculation…
            “some of this stuff is too important to leave to the state and local governments”
            Especially as these institutions are the problem – unfortunately many people would rather have “order” and freedom and thus become part of the problem themselves.

          • MRDA says:

            correction
            *order than freedom

  3. ghostdog_ says:

    I think we’re so obsessed with sex because we don’t understand it at all. Each and every person would agree a tree is a tree, or a leg is a leg. But sex? No one really understands it, so we’re that tiny bit afraid of it. Due to the fact its burried so deep in the human mind along with ‘eat’ and ‘keep warm’, we obsess over it, trying to find meaning and take away the fear, mainly so it becomes safe in our collective opinion.
    The two ends of the morality spectrum you describe are indeed not enough, they don’t account for everything (or much, actually). I take sex like I take most things, people have to find their own meaning for it, unless they give the act meaning (in who they’re with, where they are emotionally, why they decide to do it, etc), then it’s basically pointless.
    Unfortunately for the people mature enough to do that, the rest of society stays frightened of that idea.

    • MRDA says:

      “unless they give the act meaning (in who they’re with, where they are emotionally, why they decide to do it, etc), then it’s basically pointless”
      Well stated! Baby-making and boredom-breaking, per se, are not good enough reasons to copulate in my view.
      “Unfortunately for the people mature enough to do that, the rest of society stays frightened of that idea.”
      Yup – inconsequential lust is merely another sedative for most, along with shitty “reality” gameshows and state education…

  4. Hey, you friended me recently. I’m not too sure what the friending policy is going to be but, I’m friending you back. I like what I’m reading and the fact that you can read Nietzsche and not get into a PC tizzy fit.
    Anyway I see sex as a way of getting closer to some one you care about. So it feels good inside and out. Dude just because eating KFC feel good it doesn’t feel anywhere near as good as a good makeout session. If you don’t know why it feels good I can’t really explain it.
    And yes Fuck the masses !

    • MRDA says:

      Ave!
      “I see sex as a way of getting closer to some one you care about”
      This is more or less how I view sexuality – a physical expression of a deep-running emotional/romantic affinity. What I’m annoyed about is the way sex per se is thrown around, as if it’s the be all and end all of human experience and nothing can rise to its level – i.e carnal knowledge as the only kind of knowledge worth acquiring about other people and the world. Hence you get people who see sex as mere physical gratification with no further meaning attached to it and those organizations trying to slap taboos on it, making it something needing official sanction from a central authority – two sides of the same coin.
      As for my friending policy, I followed the link from that other comment you made and liked much of what I read on your journal. Welcome aboard – hope you enjoy your stay…
      (“PC tizzy fit”? Are you referring to peeps who see Nietzsche as a Nazi-lover? They largely operate off received opinion, being the annoying bastards they are…)

      • Re: Ave!
        I’m guessing it was in the Ferretts journal ? But what was it I said ?
        With Nietzsche you don’t even have to get to the Nazi stuff. Just the honest/sometimes crazy things he says are enough to offend. But he makes a lot of good points. Plus I like his style. It must read so well in German.

        • MRDA says:

          Re: Ave!
          Even when one takes into mind the guy wasn’t a Nazi, Nietzsche can be extreme – but that’s a big part of his appeal, being one who wasn’t afraid to actually think! Thus Spoke Zarathustra reads like silken poetry!
          Yeah – you commented on my music post after I linked to it on ‘s journal. I remember you stating that you “liked 50 Cent’s flow” and commenting on the bands in my ‘interests’ section. It seems that we share a love of Pantera, judging by the music selection for one of your earlier posts….

          • Re: Ave!
            Ah now I remember ! Yeah Pantera was the shit. Even if one member got tired of being in the band. I got to see them 4 times before their break up. I got to see Down once before certain people broke up another great band…

  5. phyrbyrd says:

    I swear, there’s a revolution on the way. I don’t have a name for it yet, but I have its message, and it is ‘well, actually, I do have a hundred better things to do than have sex. And?’
    This is a good time to be celibate – or semi-celibate, or whatever. I’m having a great time.

  6. wetplants says:

    -slaps you on the risk-
    Well, in some causes, the love that leads to sex is much more pleasurable than the actual sex that follows,ideally, it’s love that creates the existence of sex. In cosmopolitan magazine, columnists advise that one should hold off on their partner (whether virgin or non-virgin) so that the desire builds and builds, assuring the highest altitude of pleasure when sexual intercourse is finally reached.
    I agree. Saving your passions amounts to a gold mind, but what’s in the pot should be much more fulfilling to one’s self, and secondarily, to their partner’s overall enlightenment than merely one another’s physical desires.
    Sex is a piece of the puzzle, I say.
    Although…The euphoric feeling during sex is the same as a blooming love affair, the difference is that it’s heightened during an orgasm-NOT during the entire practice of sexual intercourse. Unfortunately, orgasms, like the early stages of love, do not last. Unless both partners are committed to each other (to satisfy their emotions), are both wise to their various options of pleasure (to satisfy them in bed), and support and encourage one another’s achievements ( which secures personal development, self-esteem, as well as respect for their partner). Sex shouldn’t be viewed as or performed as a barbaric or monotonous pass-time like it’s become in our society, which is why (I think) it doesn’t have the respect it deserves. It is important in our species, and we should enjoy it, observe it, and understand it with patience, love, and understanding.

    • MRDA says:

      Re: -slaps you on the risk-
      “Well, in some causes, the love that leads to sex is much more pleasurable than the actual sex that follows,ideally, it’s love that creates the existence of sex.”
      Yeah – I’d imagine that a cold withdrawal after a warm and fevered embrace would be nothing to strive for. Unfortunately, that seems to have become an opiate for the masses. It’s a case of “fuck love – I just wanna fuck you” or, as Marilyn Manson once put it, “I’m not in love, but I’m gonna fuck you till somebody better comes along”.
      “Sex shouldn’t be viewed as or performed as a barbaric or monotonous pass-time like it’s become in our society, which is why (I think) it doesn’t have the respect it deserves. It is important in our species, and we should enjoy it, observe it, and understand it with patience, love, and understanding.”
      Beautiful summation! Over-familiarity breeds contempt, and vice versa, hence the denigration and devaluation of the sex act as romantic valuation. I agree if more people focused on the quality, as opposed to the quantity, of such interactions, there would be less much stigma and superfluity surrounding society’s attitudes toward sex.

      • wetplants says:

        Re: -slaps you on the risk-
        Over-familiarity breeds contempt, and vice versa
        It shouldn’t be that way, though. People should strive for familiarity in all their relationships, whether platonic or romantic.

  7. rinku says:

    nice entry, i should read your livejournal more often.

  8. rinku says:

    oh, and to answer the question posed by this entry (assuming it wasn’t rhetorical and you actually haven’t figured it out yet), the reason sex is so talked about is because people are afraid of it. it’s one of the most obviously life-affirming practises, but most people are death worshiping, so they need to figure out a way to lesson its impact. hence things like pornography, which i like to call the ‘anti-sex industry’ — its literal purpose is to destroy the importance of sex. remember that quote in the fountainhead by toohey about mickey mouse? you destroy something by exalting a shallow, cartoonish funny replacement. most people do not talk about sex. they do not obessess about it. what they talk and obssess about, is its mickey mouse replacement.

    • MRDA says:

      “hence things like pornography, which i like to call the ‘anti-sex industry’ — its literal purpose is to destroy the importance of sex.”
      Glad you dropped by, Rinku!
      I’ve glimpsed this “anti-sex” theory on your journal before – has it something to do with the (erosion of the) emotional component, as is the case in promiscuity/ casual sex? How do you view media such as lovers’ guides, which have an express educative purpose? Is all pornography necessarily of Thanatos?

      • rinku says:

        the erosion of the emotional component as you put it is part of it, but that’s only the means rather than the ends. the ends is to create a state where sex is completely seperated from value, as in huxley’s book ‘brave new world’ where sex is just some type of pleasurable activity that even children engage in regularly. there’s also the altrustic component — promiscuous sex and promiscuous sexual desire are clearly more altruistic than selective sex / sexual desire.
        and no, not all pornography (depending on how you define it). i wouldn’t consider a sex manual pornography, nor would i even necessarily consider erotic fanfiction (like miyu likes to read apparently) pornography. it’s also possible for a given work to be pornography in some contexts and not pornography in other contexts, and possible for something which wasn’t intended as pornography to be used as it. in other words, whether something is pornography or not isn’t intrinsic to the work itself, it depends on the context of its use, much like all other art.

  9. Sex
    These are all interesting thoughts and ideas…and I can see the truth in what your saying but there is one element missing. Once one have arrived to the idea that sex is not a big deal, that usually means one thing. Those people are able to get sex anytime they want it and the idea is not a biggie anymore to them. It’s a lesion that was master and now it’s time to move on to new things. It is not like that for everyone. For some people sex is a big thing because it hard to come by and it does not happen enough for them to have reach the concussion that “hey, sex is not all that” To reach that point takes time, patience and experiences. Were I’m going with this you may be wondering. The world these day has a hard learning curve and what may be easy for one person is not easy for another. Then there is the way that we each deal with ours success and failure’s. If there playing field was even then I would agree that sex is overrated but it’s not even. It favors those that are attractive, charismatic and things of those nature and is against those that are not those things I named earlier. The person outlook has to be taken into account as well then factor in the primal forces that were in place well before logic became a part of the dance. Add all of those formula’s into the equation and you will have your answer and usually that answer will be different for the each of us.

    • MRDA says:

      Re: Sex
      I believe that sex is a vitally important means of expressing certain values – I just don’t see the need to venerate it as if it were some kind of god above gods (or vilify it as a demonic tool of sin).
      I doubt the quality of one’s physical appearance, per se, is proportional to the amount of sexual opportunities and/or experiences one has – except perhaps in the extremes! Saying that, you did also mention charisma, which would be a far more plausible means of judging sexual favouritism….

      • wetplants says:

        Re: Sex
        I believe that sex is a vitally important means of expressing certain values – I just don’t see the need to venerate it as if it were some kind of god above gods (or vilify it as a demonic tool of sin).
        When in access, pleasure can become an obsession. Obsessions feast off people’s sense of right and wrong, creating holes in otherwise sensible minds. SO, even if sex is actually a good thing, it’s still easy to lose control of your morality when you don’t know what to do with sex and the only thing you’ve learned from society is to be a pervert.
        So as a guide, the bible preaches sex as something holy so our aim would be a noble one; not a sick and selfish obsession or a “demonic tool of sin”.

  10. chiller says:

    Gosh, I really like you.

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