MRDArous Aphorisms: Pleading the Fifth


  • Creation: the act of killing something that does not exist.
  • Abstraction is an idyllic and immersive place to live….which is why it’s probably better off just visited from time to time.
  • Morality: the figleaf on the crotch of desire.
  • “Plausible deniability” is another term for “passive aggression”.
  • “Happily ever after” is the glorification of the freeze frame.
  • Show me a moralist and I’ll show you a lady (or gentleman) that doth protest too much.
  • Self-flagellation: The solipsist screaming “KONY 2012!”
  • With “the School of Hard Knocks” touted as an academy of esteem, one could be forgiven for thinking hardship the hallmark of privilege.
  • Prestige can be an ideal refuge in which to pine for pleasure.
  • In this world, self-interest in another person’s well-being is the closest thing to an Ideal Platonic “pure” motive…but fuck Plato!
  • The desire for time travel is the desire for parricide.
  • In the land of Weltanschauungen lives a species of resignation commonly misidentified as “realism”.
  • Passover: A great bedtime story for kids with vegetarian parents.
  • For some, “freedom” and “civilization” amount to nothing more than the degrees of distance between any given set of laws and the guns enforcing them.
  • To breathe is to be biased, but then, so is suicide.
  • Eternal pregnancy and stillbirth: both ever more tragic when the foetuses aren’t flesh and blood.
  • “Common sense”: Oxymoron extraordinaire!
  • Conceiving of oneself as a hard-edged “seeker of truth” serves as its own seductive romance.
  • “Ruler”, “king”, “dictator”, “dominus”, “emperor”, “president”: all mere descriptors for the most exalted of slaves.
  • Propriety doth make liars of us all.
  • Never underestimate the human propensity to fail to count beyond two.
  • “No enemies to the Right”: a splendid slogan to soften souls up for a Long Knives scenario.
  • My definition of Hell: A world where one’s only options consist of being either predator or prey.
  • “Many a true word is uttered in jest”, making “just kidding” and its variants the least trustworthy phrases in the English language.


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