Just a Car Crash Away? The Anti-Messiah Contra Antichrist Superstar!!

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Two Saturdays ago, I watched Marilyn Manson practically devour the stage at the Donington Download Festival; twas a great performance for all parties, full of costume changes, glam rock spectacle, and fucking great tunes, old and new!

Two days earlier, I read a rather interesting interview with the eponymous lead singer in which he talked of the influences behind his new record – namely his divorce with his wife Dita Von Teese and subsequent (or overlapping) hook-up with actress Evan Rachel Wood. It brought to prominence my recent thinking on people’s dependence on each other for any kind of validation – social metaphysics, for all the Rand-inclined people in the audience….

Basically, in the interview, he talks of how things between him and Dita dissolved to dust, making a very telling confession in the process:

After awhile, I didn’t really know if anything I did made any sort of impact on her. I can’t feel like I’m a person or feel validated unless I can make someone else feel something.

Now, I travel along two paths of thought in regard to the above quote….

Why waste one’s time on someone who doesn’t see, understand and respond to you? Why have any type of close relationship – never mind a sexual one – with a person who tolerates you at best? After all, people get involved in the fucking things to enrich their lives. I want persons in my life who value me as much as I do them – who see me as bolstering their quality of life. Relationships of mutual, selfish give-and-gain, to put it bluntly.

So, as far as wanting someone he values to return the favour, to recognize what he values of himself, Mr Brian Warner strikes me as a healthy animal.

At the same time, it’s one thing to want one’s value to be recognized by others and quite another to need this recognition in order to grant value to oneself. When some one confesses to feeling like a nothing without the outside world, do they unwittingly confess to lacking some thing essential at the heart of themselves? Could one deem it audacious to question the existence of an inner core at the heart of such a person? Perhaps I speak somewhat harshly here, but I wonder what kind of psychological damage or fucked-up indoctrination a person must have undergone to reach such a stage in their thinking.

But to be honest, perhaps I talk hypocritically to a certain extent. I remember a time – about a decade down the line – when I had a gang of friends I’d often kick around and have fun with; then, just out of the blue circa ’99, it all came to an end, not with hell ‘n’ thunder crescendo, but a silent slinking from the stage; to put it bluntly, I remember feeling pretty damn shitty and worthless for a long time after, and I have a much harder time trusting people since. Perhaps that unannounced volte-face affected me in more ways than I feel comfy discussing at this point in time, but the point stands up well enough with what I have said – at the time , I lacked a sufficient recognition of my own value. All because I swallowed up all that sick cultural programming, prevalent in the high school experience, which more or less says that one needs people to be a person , to be complete and worthy human being.

Getting back to Manson, does this hunger for external validation underlie his musical career, I wonder? Song titles such as ‘If I Was Your Vampire’ and ‘The Reflecting God’ seem to suggest this, as do the themes of dependency found in songs like ‘Coma White’. It would surprise me not if his new entanglement with Evan Rachel Wood amounts to “a pill to make [him] anything at all”. During a brief discussion with a friend regarding the article, she said of Manson “he wants a fan, not a wife”. Fans undoubtedly prove a vital part of one’s financial success as a musician, and one could argue that relationships constitute a two-person mutual appreciation society; but does he simply need a New Model No15 to stick it in to know just who he is?

That great philosopher David Gahan says it best – it maybe that only by losing himself in someone else can Manson find himself.

Perhaps this high-profile relationship rebound simply exemplifies a common cancer, eating away at the parties that form many a “normal” relationship. You, I and those around us find ourselves presented with many a line of codependent coke to snort up, via Hollywood and the examples of those before our time, seemingly designed to leave us potentially suffering severe withdrawal symptoms in the absence of fulfilment.

I for one prefer to go cold turkey!

Because whatever else I admire in the Antichrist Superstar, this “coma white” doesn’t rank as one of those things….

~MRDA~

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12 Responses to Just a Car Crash Away? The Anti-Messiah Contra Antichrist Superstar!!

  1. psuedoid says:

    I almost gave a pretty rancid reply to this entry of yours. However, I have regained composure for the moment and will say:
    This topic is very close to what I’ve been writing about lately on LJ, some entries of mine to which you replied. It doesn’t thrill me to see it presented like this right after our little dialogue about it, and I’m pretty surprised I’m not spewing pure vitriol at the moment. Self esteem is not something that is or should be entirely independent of how one performs and is seen by other people. To think otherwise is loony. I have found that the answer is probably not in becoming the rugged stoic individual but in finding ways to better get along with people. This doesn’t mean you give in to their demands or their whims. It just means you recognize that you need people in your life for it to be the best it can be. Sometimes that means making sacrifices..sometimes pretty big ones, especially if you’re someone atypical like me. I would also suggest that if talk of qualities of myself and how I interpret their meaning and place in my life unnerves you with regard to your own life and perhaps similar personal qualities in yourself, then maybe you should not read my journal, because if I sense any attacks on myself again I will undoubtably let loose.

    • MRDA says:

      Obviously I didn’t make the delineation clear enough, but in short this had nothing to do with any of your entries. As I said in this post, I had my own struggles with this and it’s not an attack upon those who want the company of others. That would be pretty fucking “loony”. I agree with your point that self-esteem works best with something to back it up and drew a pretty sharp delineation between that healthy need for recognition and the social approval addiction I believe Manson suffers from.
      In short: I don’t see it as unhealthy to want other persons to pay attention and notice and value one’s worth – when one has the bones to back such up.
      I do see it as unhealthy to have next-to-no self-esteem and to need others to primarily determine one’s worth in order to gain a shaky substitute. I suppose this is the other side to the solipsism you speak of – both exist on the same unhealthy coin.

      • psuedoid says:

        I’m out on this. I can’t imagine it would be any good for me to comment on it further. I do not like what I’ve done already.

        • MRDA says:

          Just so you know…
          Really, if I wanted to “attack” you, I’d make some reference to you in the post. I really don’t see why this offended, especially as I see you on the “healthy” side of the fence in this matter. I meant to write this post for about a fortnight now – if I must be accused of anything, procrastination’s the sin!

          • psuedoid says:

            Re: Just so you know…
            You procrastinating sinner! I think I read too much into this entry based off of one of your comments on an entry of mine, which sort of went off on a tangent about social metaphysics and appeared to me to go a little beyond just offering a different viewpoint(ie, appeared to be a friendly caution to me not to be too oriented around other people). So as I read this entry, I was being paranoid, as I can certainly be at times.
            I made a bit of an ass of myself. I hope there are no hard feelings.
            It also so happens I have a bit of a history in debating someone about how worthwhile ayn rand is. I have very strong views and somewhat thought-out opinions on her for this reason. Needless to say, I think very lowly of her writings. I have written somewhat extensively on that in my journal, but if you want to further discuss it with me that could be interesting…

  2. this is great because this has totally been on my mind lately!
    and i don’t mean manson, (although i’ve been getting back into his music coincidentally), i mean the issue of dependence between two people.
    because of all the recent betrayal/rejection/other-half-missing issues i’ve experienced lately, this sort of thing has been on my mind.
    specifically, i was all sad to be alone for the first time in four years.
    when i recently starting seeing some one new sort of accidentally, at first i was worried about being on the “rebound;” looking for love and getting super attached to someone just because i was all sad and lonely.
    but then it occurred to me that since i’ve been single i’ve had a lot more time to learn to be with me; i’ve tried things i’d never have been motivated to do before, developed new interests and met some wonderful new people.
    i realized i don’t want love, i want to live.
    sorry for spilling the personal beans, this subject is just very relevant to the shit i’ve been dealing with recently.
    i even thought about making a journal entry about it.
    but back to my point; the fact is, we all need to learn to get very comfortable with being in the company of just ourselves, because the only person who is going to be there for you 100% of the time is you.
    at some point, we are all left alone for one reason or another, and if you can’t bear to be isolated with only yourself for company you’re going to be continually “on the rebound” and/or clinging to “love” out of fear of lonliness. and as i learned the hard way, even “functional” relationships are capable of breeding this dependence.
    as pointed out above, it’s always important to remember that no man is an island, but i have certainly learned in recent times that it’s also important to be okay with being alone, if only to learn to be okay with being your own best friend.
    it’s the self-love you are talking about here; the virtuous selfishness our discussions often come back to, and the lacking of informed self-interest in much of the population.
    before i had this experience i had never before noticed just how many songs on the radio are about “love,” or betrayed love. and i wonder, how many people will never find truly lasting functional love, and isn’t that really just fine that many don’t? are we really all defined by our “better halves,” or lack there of???
    “better half:” what an appropriate idiom to describe the issue at hand; the idea that none of us are really any good without another person specifically validating our worth with their constant approval/companionship!

    • MRDA says:

      Great points about the songs on the radio (forgot to mention those) and the usage of terms such as “better half” in casual conversation – really reinforces that remora-relationship mentality, does it not?
      I’ll be honest here – I really do want me a ladyfriend quite a bit. However, I also want to feel fully comfy in my own skin juuuuust that little bit more and not be controlled by this urge of mine, as I’d really despise myself if I became another fucking remora who needed others to feel at home with myself. Sometimes it can feel like a tug of war, but I generally keep a hold of myself.
      I think you hit the nail on the head when you say “learn to be okay with being your own best friend”.
      It would be cool if you did write about your perspective in more detail on your journal like you planned.
      And I love talking to you too, Sheila! ^_^

  3. Anonymous says:

    Fuck Manson! There, I said it!
    And the reason why I said it is because Manson and I are having the first and a very serious fallout after some 13 years of a productive and personal relationship. Personal as in investing myself into MM philosophy, before someone accuses me of being a ”bandwagon, just found MM cos goth is cool now” emo and day dreaming of ”celebrititty” who was, once upon a time, a rock star.
    In the past 8 months or so, I’ve written several semi-finished blogs, which were never published, because every time some new pathetic shit comes from MM club.
    Just this week, he had a concert in Slovenia, which I did not attend, for many reasons.
    Regarding your entry – all cool and dandy, but you’re reading too deep into celebrititty’s bitching. The bottom line is: dude is hitting the middle life crisis, and did what I never thought he’d do – he went and became (or has he always been?!) average man, cheated on his gorgeous MATURE wife, and got himself ”an ugly desperately trying to be what she never will be – Dita” teenager, who will dance the way MM wants her to, something that Dita wouldn’t let.
    All this bitching that MM is doing, about not being allowed to be who he is comes down to the same shit that happened with Rose: his drug abuse. He used to say he doesn’t have problems with drugs and alcohol, and that he is a drug user, not abuser. Fuck that shit, Manson. It’s not true.
    The pattern that I’ve noticed is that he changes his women when he changes his theme for a new album. But this time around, I really thought he’s gonna grow a new pair of brain cells (and balls), but obviously he didn’t.
    After few months of boning this teenager, he is professing how he found his soulmate (if THAT’S not enough to make my stomach and my eyes turn/roll). He can miss me, totally, with this juvenile bullshit.
    There’s no deep philosophy behind MM’s statements regarding his ”romantic” problems at all.
    While your entry around MM is good and I agree with it, it has nothing to do with MM per se and his middle life crisis, and his drug problems. Again, it’s not that deep; it’s not deep at all. Just like his new music is more or less a sign of a worn out, washed up rock star, who is now, as I said it before, a celebrititty. I guess he gave his new fans what they wanted, because old fans did not want that, and do not support this. Capitalism is a bitch. A sell out, having a middle life crisis is an even bigger bitch.
    The only thing left for him to be found, now that he found his soul-mate *rolls eyes*(which will not last – mark my words), is for him to find god, and a transformation (that never was) of a worm will be completed – he will, again, become a worm that will double up when stepped on by his old true fans; but he will not double up because of humility.
    Fuck Manson!
    *slams the door and storms out*
    Natasha (contra Manson)

    • MRDA says:

      I kept in mind the possibility that I wrote this entry based on words that amount to nothing more than an alibi or rationalization on Manson’s part; however, bullshit or not, they served to illustrate thoughts that lay on my mind at the time, so I couldn’t resist making something more of it.

      • Anonymous says:

        I understand. That’s why I made sure to separate your thoughts about your situation, with that of MM.
        N.

  4. Anonymous says:

    PS: Just now paid attention to your ”MRDA contra Manson”, and found it hilarious, since that’s how I titled my unpublished blog(s) about my fallout with MM.

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