Tim Minchin: DemocraTURD

Another Wright Stuff; another fucking stupid panellist. Do they have some sort of quota system for that show?

Roasting in the Inferno today, we have the one, the only…Tiiiiim Minchin!


I damn near did a double-take when I heard him sing the praises of compulsory voting—or, as I like to call it, democracy-at-gunpoint—on Monday.

So, just to make sure, I decided to Google his brainfarts thoughts on this topic to see what came up.

Enter Twitter:

Voting should also be compulsory. All arguments I’ve heard against it are either #logicfail or socioeconomic snobbery.

Funny how he doesn’t actually present any of the “logicfail” arguments, but I guess Twitter’s tailor-made for these kind of unsupported assertions.

More civic-minded cocksplash:

I’ve never heard a good reason why voting is not compulsory here (that’d be the UK –MRDA) as in Oz. Oh, and abstaining cos you’re disenchanted is incredibly dumb.

That’s them naughty nonvoters told, then!

And now, ladies and reprobates, watch mental-munchkin Minchin defy the Principle of Contradiction!

(Compulsory voting, by the way, only says you have to show up. You may stand in the school hall tearing up your ballot if you like.)

(I knew compulsory vote would be most contentious. Again – you just have to cross your name off. Democracy requires all voices.)

But if I just tore up my ballot, wouldn’t that prevent it from being collected ‘n’ counted? Wouldn’t my “voice” amongst the herd go…unheard? Wouldn’t it put paid to the “all voices” thing if I just showed up and did fuck-all-else to contribute?

Wouldn’t the outcome amount to the same thing if I just stayed home and had a wank?

What’s the best term to describe Minchin’s train of thought here?

Ah, yes—logic fail.

And, going by what the Aussie Electoral Commision say, he fails at the facts, too:

Under the Electoral Act, the actual duty of the elector is to attend a polling place, have their name marked off the certified list, receive a ballot paper and take it to an individual voting booth, mark it, fold the ballot paper and place it in the ballot box.

It is not the case, as some people have claimed, that it is only compulsory to attend the polling place and have your name marked off…

What happens to those who elect not to vote?

Voting at federal elections has been compulsory since 1924 for all citizens on the Commonwealth electoral roll. Anyone who is unable to provide a valid and sufficient reason to the Divisional Returning Officer for failure to vote at a federal election and who does not wish to have the matter dealt with by a Magistrates Court may pay a penalty of $20 (section 245).

If an elector who has failed to vote refuses to pay the $20 penalty, then the matter may be referred to a Magistrates Court, where a fine of $50 plus costs may be ordered on conviction. Anyone who chooses not to pay the court-ordered fine will be dealt with by the Court accordingly, and this may involve community service orders, seizure of goods, or one or two days in jail. The penalty in such circumstances will be a decision for the local Magistrates Court and not the Australian Electoral Commission.

That’s right, readers—for the heinous, heinous crime of not voting you could find yourself deprived of your hard-earned lucre—or, even worse, your liberty.

But hey, so long as Minchin’s satisfied by the ‘voter turnout’…

For all the time Minchin spends ripping into religion, it’s tragicomic to see him endorsing one of his own; then again, it seems part and parcel of his sociopolitical outlook: supposedly irreligious Leftists haven’t disposed with God—simply replaced him. Why go to church when you can pop to the polling station, instead?

His obsession with ‘civic duty’, coupled with his evangelistic rhetoric (“Democracy requires all voices.”), marks Minchin as a firm ‘n’ true believin’ democratard

…and his enthusiastic endorsement of forcing the citizenry to the electoral Eucharist elevates (?) him to the status of  democraturd.

Facebook friend, and Minchin’s fellow countryman, Schoma offers up an explanation for Tim’s turdiness…

I’ll bet his only reason is that he’s Australian, he’s grown up with compulsory voting and, just at a guess, he draws a false correlation between this country’s relatively good living standards/freedoms and compulsory voting.

…which sounds like the common fallacy amongst Western folk to equate democracy with civil liberty, even in instances where the former blatantly runs roughshod over the latter. A glance at how the non-Western world does democracy would surely be a bitchslap to their conceited conceptions; as Mupetblast said about the 2009 Iranian elections

The vast majority of Iranian respondents, across the income spectrum (wherein higher income is associated with higher education), thought that abortion was never justifiable; that homosexuality was never justifiable; and that “men should have more right to job than women.”

In sum, what is it that Facebook fans of the Iranian uprising think will happen over there if their pleas are successful? … It seems to me that a perception that liberal, youthful, lovers of substantive freedom and a progressive ethos are up against a stodgy reactionary establishment is what motivates this enthusiasm. But if in fact the people they are supporting are even less liberal in orientation than a right-wing Republican (ooh, double shot!), and it appears that this is the case, what’s to get so excited about?

But then again, for a Western nation, Australia hasn’t been doing so well at the civil liberties itself, has it? With its overreaching defamation laws; proposed internet censorship; bans on porn, videogames, and suicide literature; and this-here elephant in the room known as compulsory voting, the nation of Oz sounds almost like an open-air version of its fictional “correctional facility” namesake.

It’s understandable how being raised in such a culture might contribute to moulding a mindset like Minchin’s…

…yet it doesn’t change the fact that ‘liberal’ remains a downright deceptive description of those who would subscribe to it.

Still, if that is indeed how Minchin describes himself, it cements his credentials as a comedian, if nothing else…


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