Mulling Over….

Is it better to always defer to everyone else and end up in the right, or to soldier forward in one’s own conviction at the expense of accuracy and desirability of result?

That sure bakes my noodle at times…..


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23 Responses to Mulling Over….

  1. wetplants says:

    hmmm… tell me, you think I’m too careful sometimes?

    • MRDA says:

      I think it pays to be careful, Ana…..careful’s good. It’s only if caution becomes fear and you’re paralysed by it that it causes you to miss out…

  2. creactivity says:

    Ah, but what is the definition of “right”?
    I like a mix of both. I like to know what people think, but ultimately, since I have to live with the results of my actions, I take responsibility for making the decisions and learning from the mistakes.

    • wetplants says:

      the problem with that is that you don’t get what you wanted, that is if it doesn’t work in your favore.

      • creactivity says:

        But I’m okay with that. It’s the story of my life, and I live it with the sort of detachment that is akin to reading it in a novel. I’m fascinated to see where my character ends up.
        As long as it stays interesting.

      • MRDA says:

        But even if that failed, you’d have a better chance at success the next time if you scrutinized and learned from the mistake(s)…and what’s more you’d have learned this on your own final judgement

    • MRDA says:

      Hmm..that’s the way I operate too! But I just wanted to know, if it came down to an “either.. or ” choice between the two courses, which would be better. To sacrifice most, or all of your autonomy for an end result that you both desire and benefit from; or to hold on to your sense of self and fail in your goals….so by “right” I mean that which is of personal benefit.

  3. cearrdorn says:

    Hmm. this one strikes pretty close to my recent life.
    I have a friend who has been ramping up his affection for guns, and he seemed to be trending towards the whole “government is evil, lets start a separatist movement” type thing. I pretty much intended to just make him laugh, and challenged him to post about something else five times in his journal, just so we (his friends) could hear more about him, and less about guns.
    His response was to basically accuse me of attempting (as if I had this sort of power) to muzzle and censor him. He and I had been friends for literally ten years, and I have treated him like family. So to say his reaction was shocking is understated. I had a few issues with him over the years, and basically decided that if friendly challenges and concern were so easy to mock/spew venom at, that i could do without a friend who though so little of me. I did a pretty unpopular thing in addressing what not a few of our mutual friends listed as a concern to him. It sucked, but I felt good about doing it, because honestly if I start running around naked, I’d like people to point out that my invisible clothes are imaginary.

    • MRDA says:

      Hmm…the gun issue..I’ve become quite vocal about it as of late. Anyways, yup if I’m being blatantly out-of-line (as opposed to just being stubborn or not in agreement) I’d like to know about it, if it’ll help me out. But yeah, your friend was kinda excessive and paranoid in his responses.
      Did you reconcile or is that a near-impossibility now?

      • cearrdorn says:

        at this point, i’m just trying to let go of the anger I was holding. Maybe a year or so, I just need time to cool my heels and not want to hit him every time i see him. The thing is, to this day, he doesn’t see anything he’s said really as being unforgiveable, nor any of his actions anything other than his normal paralance. And yet he’s beating the crap out of himself over it. So in a way, he’s doing exactly what i wanted, which is recognizing that he may be going a little overboard. I just hope in the future it doesn’t take losing a friend for him to see that type thing.

  4. lousy_timing says:

    Key word?
    You said “is it better to always defer to everyone else…”
    No, it’s not always better. Sometimes, it’s a necessity, depending on your own goals. Be true to your personal goals. If you aren’t sure what they are, define them.
    This will help you know when it matters and when it doesn’t.
    (Oh, bother, I feel like Confucius.)

    • MRDA says:

      Re: Key word?
      Perhaps….twas a hypothetical situation based on absolute degrees – a black and white thang if you will…I usually favour getting feedback/advice then balancing it with my own decision before coming to a judgement by myself…
      However, if it came down to a one or other situation which way would you go?

      • lousy_timing says:

        I’ve done both.
        I’ve chosen both paths at one time or another.
        I can’t say that I remember it ever working out well when I followed the crowd, and I can’t say that I remember it ever turning out badly when I didn’t.

        • MRDA says:

          Re: I’ve done both.
          Makes sense, I suppose….:)
          But if you knew that your road ended on the edge of a cliff would you still walk it? Or give yourself up for a certain (though Pyrrhic) victory?

          • lousy_timing says:

            You’re talking to a method actor here…
            What’s my motivation?

          • MRDA says:

            Re: You’re talking to a method actor here…
            Self-satisfaction at walking your path without possibility of desired result
            A desired result yet no dissatisfaction, as you chose to defer your power and autonomy for said result….
            Pick one….you keep the royalties either way! 🙂

          • lousy_timing says:

            Whew- I was afraid I’d offended you!
            Truly- I do most of my decision making based on what motivates me at the time or what the actual task is and how I feel about it.
            This is a topic where I really clicked with Ayn Rand when I read Atlas Shrugged. I often seen that my self-sacrificing has brought me nothing- not even job recognition- and those who sacrificed little reaped MY benefits/credit because they schomoozed well.
            I think in my current place, I’d say that I’d go with my way even if the path was along a cliff and I was walking it alone. I say this because when I have a gut feeling about something, or an idea that I feel strongly will succeed if carried out, I am so certain of it that I MAKE it happen.
            Overcoming obstacles is a forte of mine. I’d like to think that walking that cliff’s edge would give me additional vision that might further improve my idea or goal.

          • MRDA says:

            Re: Ayn Rand
            You should read The Fountainhead too, Jinz’! Great inspirational read…..

  5. kasku says:

    It probably depends on your approach to both…

  6. lousy_timing says:

    I will!
    I’m going to read all of her works over the Summer. It will be interesting to see where else my philosophy and hers mesh and where we differ.
    Hopefully, there won’t be any other sections like the ‘John Galt’ speech where I have to skip ahead after about half of it. Maybe it’s easier to read the whole thing if you’re someone that wasn’t going, “yes, I GET this!!” throughout the book. For me, it was like preaching to the choir.

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