"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
I can sincerely clasp hand across breast and say that whoever coined this immortal saying was:
Saying THAT is like declaring that a stake through the heart is better than an intact chest and uninterrupted cardio-vascular functions; in fact I’m gonna place a wager and say that the bloke or bird who came out with this questionable gem was the stereotypical Christian who thinks both suffering and anguish are the highest of virtues.
Okay I think we can all agree that love – when we have the fortune and fortitude to inspire and feel it – is certainly a splendorous thing. One’s mindset can be considerably brightened and lightened by its conception and reception. But what happens when you surrender yourself utterly to this feeling; allow it to flow, course through you like blood…. only for your "loved one" to sneak up on you at night and slit your veins? What happens then as you watch that which had given you much needed sustenance seep away from you, leaving you a husk of what you once were?
The answer? You’re left bewildered, betrayed and belligerent to the very idea that you could have – or ever could again – put yourself in such a position of debasement. Certainty caves in to confusion and cynicism (in some cases); and once-true romantics renounce their faith, opt for a vinegar transfusion, and walk through life with a frown and a "fuck it!"
If you’re a poet, or just a plain fucking masochist (tautology?) then I guess you’d appreciate the tragic assthetic (sic) behind that old saying, and the lifestyle it engenders. Me? Sometimes I envy those who have the innate emotional capacity of a Prozium junkie/ Data from Star Trek/The Terminator/ Soundwave (delete as appropriate). I’d love to have me a nifty little emotion switch that I could flip on and off at will – no more bawling, bleeding and brooding over the subject ever again! Such a charmed existence that would be, no?
Frankly I reckon the bulk of those who use that fucking irritating security blanket of a saying are:
a)those who have never truly loved
b)those who’ve never lost
…but that’s just me…..
….I’m off to write some fucking poetry….
It’s a coping mechanism. As are most “sayings.”
Like I say….denial. A common reaction in the face of shit happening….
Finding ways to cope with circumstances don’t necessarily mean ‘denial’. In this case it could have simply been “I’m tortured and feel as if I could die and here’s this well-adjusted happy person next to me – they must never have loved.” And then the saying spews forth.
Okay…rationalisation…another defence mechanism. More potent than denial, as for a while even the person believes it to be truth…..until that nagging ache gets the better of ’em…and then the house of cards falls, unmasking the charade for what it was…
Seems a rather fractured way of coping to me…