Does anyone feel – or has anyone here felt – that they have to treat their birthday like a rare porcelain vase? Or rather, has one felt like – or does one feel like – such a delicate vase on the day that should be hallowed and embraced as theirs? I guess I’ve felt like this for some time – since the start of the 90s to be more precise – and I’ve never understood it fully. I find it strangely ironic that I’m often left feeling reclusive on a day which one is meant to caress, embrace and possess as one’s own.
The Satanists say that one’s birthday is the ultimate veneration of the self, a concept that – intellectually at least – makes perfect sense to me. I mean, everyone scrambles to celebrate a collective New Year on December the 31st/January the 1st, but what I think what a lot of people don’t grasp is the fact that – unless they were born on the days mentioned – the new year begins on each anniversary of their birth. Sure most celebrate it as the anniversary of their birth, but I’ve never seen anyone treat it like their own personal New Year’s Day. Call it subjectivist, but those are the lines along which I think on this matter.
All that said, I’ve always had the inclination – since my 10th birthday – to treat the whole event just like any other day. I suppose this has summat to do with getting a surprise party sprung on me on my 9th which I didn’t wholly appreciate at the time. However, this attitude always succeeds in making my birthdays progressively dreadful; a few choice highlights include being incapacitated by scar-inducing chickenpox on my 13th, having the rise ripped out of me on my 15th, having a fucking Parent’s Evening on the same day as my 16th and having a planned night out scuppered on my 18th.
Let’s not forget the fight at work I had this time last year…
Hence my inclination to treat myself like fine porcelain rather than indulging in any sort of overt self-veneration.
Saying that, I’ll be meeting my 6th Form buddies for pizza and parlay in a few hours. Who knows? Today might just turn out better than expected – despite any implied pessimism in this post, I’m looking forward to it. Tis always good to see those guys again whatever the occasion…
Maybe I may just escape my porcelain prison yet…
~MRDA~
I hope you had a pleasant birthday, Dan. -hugs-