An ‘amanojaku’ [sic] is a devil beneath the guardian deities of a temple. The term is sometimes used to describe someone who is deliberately contrary.
Overfiend – I’m the kind of guy that’ll get more involved – just because you told me not to!
– Amano Jyaku, Urotsukidoji IV
Breaking myself to try to keep everyone from walking over me.
– American Head Charge
This ties in somewhat with the previous post where I mentioned my dislike of moral duties…..
I like to think of myself as a rather prideful character – a guy who takes pleasure in the conception and execution of his own ideas. I like coming up with the good idea, putting one foot in front of the other to form a step, and taking pride in the fact that I executed said step entirely of my own volition…..
…as such, I absolutely hate it when anyone tries to hijack this vessel with their commands and agendas……
Do you ever experience moments where someone tells you to do something – after you already thought of doing it yourself? Such moments always leave me thinking my will erased and overwritten by that of the other(s) – what belonged to me, rendered mine no longer….
…. thus,in an attempt to re-assert self-dominance, I turn against the original idea, leaving it dead and bleeding by the roadside.
Often, I find this hinders me more than it helps; and yet, I get a Pyrrhic sense of satisfaction, knowing that X person did not get the privilege of playing Puppet Master.
A good example of such? When I decide upon a course of action, such as tidying up my living quarters; I determine I’ll follow through on it as soon as I arrive the next day; however another will set foot in said quarters whilst in its “before” state, offer an unsolicited opinion on said area-in-said-state and suggest I “do something about it”; having my plan tainted by association an external authority, leaves me with a much diminished will in regards to seeing it through.
Thus the “Fuck it!” (anti-) imperative kicks in – no doubt the same impulse a terrorist or freedom fighter feels when threatened with capture or subjugation – the impulse to not be taken alive!
A workmate hit the nail on the head for why I (and he) hates taking “advice” (read: orders) from authority figures: “Give them an inch and they’ll take the credit!” proves a good summation of his point. From past experience, I can say he’s not wrong; I just think back to the last time someone had the nerve to declare my successful actions the sole, or predominant result of their wish and desire….
Whilst I don’t deny my ‘Amanojyaku’ tendencies can prove counter-productive at times, at least they help me assert self-dominance in the face of those who would try to overrule it…..
…..such is the pride of MRDA…..
I think I understand what you’re saying, but in a sense you are letting the “other side” win if you don’t do something you want to do just because they also say you should do it!
I try to think of it as, “I have a great idea and they also recognize it as good.” You can still retain independence and autonomy by carrying out the action– just fully realize that you are doing it because *you* want to and not because *they* want you to!
I just despise the fact that if I take said action, they’ll view it as a result of their will-to-power asserting dominance over mine. I harbour an inclination to avoid puppeteering by others, especially those who I perceive as gaining from seeing me as their raw material/ sacrificial lamb.
Speaking of will-to-power I must ask – what Nietzsche volume did you hunt for at the bookstore?
This reminds me of some movie (or book?) I saw many years ago, where a character said, “I’ll do it because I want to, and not because you told me so!”
I got “Beyond Good and Evil.” I’ll probably start reading it tonight. Which Nietzsche works do you like best?
I currently re-read Thus Spoke Zarathustra which works as his fictional piece, re-iterating many of his erm….recurring themes! Quite rapturous and uplifting to read.
After reading Beyond Good and Evil, pick up The Genealogy of Morals and see where Rand got her inspiration from for her arguments against altruism (though this also covered at the end of BGAE).
I also recommend the Gay Science for sheer affirmation!
Thanks for the recommendations!
One problem I’m having is reading Nietzsche’s style. I find his sentences to be very indirect and poetic, so I’m forced to first interpret what he is actually saying before contemplating it. Of course, this could be a result of translation. I’ll keep trying though!
it’s interesting that you added me and i’m flattered. it just so happens that i remembered your username from a rant many moons ago involving umermensch and nerozero regarding the columbine massacre. i was so impressed with your argument that i remembered your name afterwards!
and so i add you back.
Glad I made an impression! ^_^
Also, I loved the way you cut down that WP dolt in the aryan_elite community; I decided to slum it down there to see the great minds (hahaha!) at work there and I saw your rebuttal to that Hitlerjugend-in-training and it raised a smile. I can somewhat understand (though not excuse) people choosing a racist path due to bad experience – but him? He’s nothing more than a blank canvas scribbled upon by his thought virus-afflicted folks,like many an unquestioning religionist. Pathetic untermensch! *ok rant over*
In any case I had to check out your journal and I must say I like what I saw! Glad to be/have you on board!
and right back at you!
it’s great to meet such interesting and intelligent people online. i had another journal before but it was very tiring having entry after entry just be meaningless updates and memes so i made a new one with a more intellectual theme to it. now i am pleased to find that i not only meet more stimulating and educated people, but that the people i already knew from my previous journal either have more interesting things to say to me or have gone off to post their quiz results on their own time!
and about the WP thing, it always gets me how the ‘politically correct’ will tolerate anything except intolerance.
it’s a more common and infinitly more dangerous line of thought than most would imagine. and so even if i think that those neo-nazi scabs deserve a sound beating, i think that it’s more productive to educate myself on their motivations than to beat them over the head with militant-politically-correct cliches.
now it may be fun to tell them what idiots they are, but most people don’t seem to realize that it is exactly that behavior that reinforces their beliefs.
but that one kid…slave morality should be called out no matter what the form and i’d tell him he’s an idiot anyday of the week. ^_-
I’d like to hear your thoughts on this reply I gave a friend way back when In relation to this post of mine, when she asked me why I didn’t have a more “live and let live” attitude to certain issues/people…..
“As I’ve said before, “live and let live” has validity – up to a certain point; but it’s irrational – and potentially fatal – to tolerate that which does everything but tolerate you…..”