Don’t get me wrong – there’s no way I’m gonna go back on what I wrote about conflict between friends being healthy and life-affirming….
…..however, that doesn’t take away from the fact that certain aspects of said communication really piss me off at times; not so much what is said, but how it’s said….
Here’s the scenario: a friend, acquaintance or whothefuckever argues a viewpoint with such an iron-wrought conviction and unbridled bluntness; you know, just from what they say and the way it’s expressed that theirs is a viewpoint most cherished and believed in….
….then, they turn and do a volte-face, cutting down the potency of the argument by saying something like "that’s just my opinion" or "these are mere words". It’s almost as if they’re offering a half-assed, poor skills apology for communicating the truth as they see it; almost as if they’re saying "sorry for having a brain and a point of view – nothing I think, say or write matters. Feel free to negate me!"
It’s bad enough when peeps end a personal perception with the phrase "that’s my opinion" – such a redundancy surely warrants a "No shit, Sherlock!" response; however change said redundancy to "that’s just my opinion" and you’ve got an ingredient for self-abnegation!
Any given opinion of mine may indeed change; it may well be based in pure emotionalism with little in the way of rational thought to back it up; it may well be unpopular; shit… it may well be out-and-out wrong, fucked-up and itching to be opposed by something with more sense behind it; none of this changes the fact that this opinion is mine and must be accepted as such. No redundancies. No denials. No faux-modesty. No bullshit.
Another variant on this scenario is: when people give a particularly strong opinion on something (or someone) and then say "these are just mere words" or something along those lines. Speaking one’s mind I’m all for even when it hurts; the long-term benefits of knowing where one stands with the person bringing on the blunt-edge outweighs any short-term bruises incurred from said words. Nevertheless, if you’re gonna be ruthlessly blunt, at least acknowledge that what you say or write may elicit controversy, bad feelings and other such objections. Obviously if you thought words were so ineffectual and unimportant, you wouldn’t have acted on the urge to say what "needed to be said" – you would’ve kept your mouth shut, your pen from the paper, your fingers from the keyboard…..
Hell, if the peeps who spew that really bought into that, they’d boycott the internet, the radio, the recording studio, the printing press and verbal communication!
Basically, if you’ve got something burning to be said, fucking say it – but please don’t dismiss or downplay its impact and importance whilst doing so!
Till the next episode…..
I think that a lot of times people use the words IMO. To deflect the debate that would ensue in the wake of their thoughts. It’s not that they don’t believe what they are saying. It’s that they don’t want to spend 5 hours debating their point.
At least that’s my reasoning.