A week ago, my favourite bottle fairy (Cheers, Tink!) drew my attention to an interesting Guardian article dealing with the sex drives of disabled folk. Triggered by recent revelations of care home workers hiring sex surrogates to sate the lusts of those confined to their care, the article compiles a variety of views on the subject, including this soundbite by one Mik Scarlet:
It’s like the world telling you that disabled people are so unsexy that the only way they can have sex is to pay for it. If you’re growing up as a disabled child or someone who’s just come to disability, how does that affect how you feel about yourself? I don’t want a world where it’s easier for disabled people to visit sex workers, I want a world that sees disabled people as sexual and valid prospective partners.
Many would call this a laudable sentiment and I’d be hard pressed to disagree. However, seeing as the general public won’t be aligning with Scarlet’s vision anytime soon, what will the horny handicapped do for release and stimulation in the meantime? If the general public regard the disabled, in aggregate, as undesirable sexual partners, isn’t interfering with their one outlet simply adding to the cruelty and aridity of their situation? Folk with an anti-prostitution bias dismiss the undesired with a sneer of “let them stroke cock”, but even wanking sounds a tad impractical for those who lack the limbs required for the task.
That said, I’m sure plenty of disabled folk out there get more in the way of cock and/or cunt than many an able-bodied person. Even if the sexual dalit caste contains huge swathes of the crippled and invalid, they’re by no means its only members (neither does it encompass them in toto); beyond the world of the wheelchairs, there exist a plethora of people who may as well be bedridden amputees for all the interest they elicit from those they desire. For them, as well as for their disabled cousins, all the pity in the world’s no substitute for the alleviation of their pent-up yearnings.
Fuck, even in Scarlet’s ideal world, there’d still be a shitload of incel incapacitates passed over in the sexual arena; for them and their more ambulate counterparts, Mik’s heaven would still be hell. Nothing illuminates the inequality of existence quite like the push ‘n’ pull of sexual selection; and, no doubt, nothing exacerbates the ire of incels like the pisstaking and pathos tossed their way in place of pussy (and/or penis). For the bodily-impaired, it must be twice as as infuriating, what with having to deal with the nauseating cultural paternalism that follows them around on account of their condition. All too often, people claim them as living, breathing pets, assuming that because two of their legs are inactive, their third must be also.
I say sod that! I’m guessing the invalids and incels of the world could do without the sexual protectionism and stigmatization erected between them and their drives. Sure, paying for it’s (usually) far from ideal – I doubt the majority of working girls address the more emotional strains of TLC romantic partners (and sex surrogates) specialise in – but at least letting down the barriers to it would serve to satisfy the more primal intimacies craved by most members of our species, particularly those members who would otherwise go without.