Inspired in part by this post by deltaproximus….
I’ve already asked other friends this, and I’m eager to ask you, s’here goes….
How do you define dating? What does the concept of dating mean to each and every one of you?
Is it just a bit of fun? Something you do “just because”? Something you do because it’s expected? Or do you see it as the potential build up to something long-lasting – the quest to find the hero or heroine of your epic tale?
What would be the right reasons to date…and what would be the wrong ones?
Do you think it’s better to work on oneself – become one’s own hero(ine) – and wait for your hero(ine)…or to date around and hope to find him/her that way?
Is dating a prerequisite to a relationship…. or can a relationship blossom forth from summat else – say an established friendship – without all the hassle and ceremony of the big D?
Should one look to be the best person they can be before entering a relationship, or can a relationship help mend a fractured self-esteem?
Answers on a postcard to the usual address….
I’ve never been the type to date around. If I’m dating someone, I’m seeing a specific person to discover if something more can come of the relationship.
I don’t “date around”, but with me, dating is more of a test period to see if the person is worth pursuing a relationship with. Mind you, so far, I haven’t done much dating, just been thrown head-first into a relationship from a friendship. Ultimately, I guess I see it as part of my quest to find a hero.
I want to work on myself first. I want to make myself happy before I can even begin to think of making someone else happy, but companionship seems nice to me. Dating feels kind of weird, because your thinking of what you want and what your date might want out of it. It could end up as something important and as great as a relationship, or just fade. When I’m on a date I think of him as a possible candidate for a future husband and If it doesn’t work out, than its ok; we’ll be friends.
Dating used to be an exercise in which to meet someone I’d want to spend more and more and more time with – someone who would be a suitable partner-for-life. Going at it with that mindset makes elimination likely because so few people really are suitable to spend loads of time with.
Now dating is a journey. If I learn something and they learn something from knowing one another, I define it as a success because that’s in line with a core value. I no longer beat myself up for someone else’s bad behavior.
I have always believed there are certain things we should be on our own before seeking someone else out. Very few people do this. It’s typical that people seek another to fill the gaps in themselves. Then those gaps get filled and people fall out of love because all love was for them was the feeling of getting that gap filled.
I think relationships can blossom from friendships, but that’s never happened for me. I find that there comes a certain point in friendship where a switch is hit and it becomes a perma-friendship and dating him would be akin to dating a family member. I don’t know exactly where that is, but it’s always somewhere.
I think a relationship can help self esteem, but not by much. I had a bad body image in my last relationship (thanks, in part, to him). But he also looked at me with love and lust and in that way I knew I was, at least, attractive to him. It did NOTHING toward making me believe that in the rest of the world (again, partly because of things he was saying and doing). I think these things need to be built on their own, and can be “massaged” by a partner with the natural encouragement and support found in a relationship.